You suspect your significant other is playing around on line behind your back. It’s much about vibes and intuition. You know something strange is going on and it is happening on line. But there’s no strong indications (you hope) that the dalliance is anything other than flirtation in after-hours chat rooms or platonic text messages that may be ready for the next step.
That next step could be anything from innocent tete-a-tete meetings at a coffee shop of the “my wife/husband doesn’t understand me” variety to illicit sex in a hotel room.
Before the situation gets to that next step, you should do your own reality check.
In the first place, fooling around on line, even without personal contact, is cheating. It is a type of infidelity, when combined with other factors, that could be grounds for a divorce.
Secondly, there are telltale signs that cyber hanky-panky is occurring. Here are four major indicators:
Your mate keeps his or her email account and smartphone password protected in an apparent effort to block your access to evidence of cheating.
Your partner suddenly (and with a guilty expression) switches web pages or closes the laptop screen when you walk into the room.
Your spouse refuses to share a Facebook account, or has not friended you. If you are a friend, you never heard of at least one of your spouse’s opposite-sex contacts.
Your significant other seems to be obsessed with responding to multimedia messages, and something fishy seems to be going on. (This is a warning sign that has to be considered in combination to other indicators. Nowadays, everyone is pretty much addicted to our phones.)
Finally, here is a bright red flag that, that in addition to other weird behavior on the part of the cyber-cheating partner, might prompt you to take a serious look at your relationship:
Your partner seems to spend hours late in the evening “just completing some work that needs to get done.” You go to bed and later the spouse joins you in an amped up state of sexual arousal. That could be an indication that there was some unrequited cyber sex going on behind you back.
If you feel your spouse has graduated from virtual to real infidelity, it may be time to hire a professional investigator. We do matrimonial investigations. It may be time to reign in that cheating spouse and get on with your life.